As salaam aliakum Reader,

I pray this message finds you well.

I wanted to talk with you today about a 'hot' and sensitive topic.

Trauma.

What I want to say is this - your trauma lives in your body because you put it there. Your housing it, clothing it, and you refuse to let it leave.

It is your own intellect and emotions - concious and subconcious - that have made your experiences 'mean' something permanent that you now decided to hold onto.

Furthermore, it is your own emotional and intellectual false expectations that created those meanings in the first place.

Nothing that happenned to you in life neccessitates the feelings that we have come to know and hold on to as trauma. It is our constant meaning making that feeds the negative attachment to past events that we have come to know as trauma.

One of the best things you can do is free yourself from what you thought you deserved, or how you were wronged, and whatever defense mechanisms you have put up as a response to them.

Here's an example...

A woman was deeply hurt by what she felt was betrayal in her marriage and the heartbreak that happenned during that period. She told herself that her husband broke her heart, that love wasn't real, and that she had to protect herself because no one else would.

She outwardly forgave her husband, but inside, even when the tears had long stopped falling she refused to let those last embers of pain die out.

How could she let go of the anger, hurt, and pain when she needed it in order to make sure she was never in that position again ?

But there it was... in that coaching session she came face to face with a few things...

1-she was deciding to hold on to her pain

2-she was operating as though experiencing pain in a long term relationship was unacceptable

3-she was expecting inhuman 'perfection' from her husband, ie, his humanity made her unable to love him and he, and their marriage, could never recover or truly move on from this fall from grace.

4-she was letting pain stifle her from living fully, you cannot live fully if you refuse to love, and you can't love fully if you refuse to forgive, you don't forgive fully if you carry and nurture your pain with you letting the past poison your present and sink its fangs into your current life.

5-she decided that life (in this dunya) was 'supposed' to be pain free and any pain meant she was betrayed

But is this reasonable or even true...

Human beings have human experiences, including hurting themselves and others. If the Lord of the worlds can love us not only despite our humanity, but because of it, who are we to say that imperfect humans (ourselves and others) are undeserving of love and forgiveness.

You know what else is human...not knowing everything. Not knowing that you are hurting someone, not knowing what someone wants or needs intuitively at all times, not knowing the future, and ulitmately not being the All-Knowng Lord.

So, we have to sometimes ask ourselves, "am I mad that this person (or myself for that matter) isn't the All-Knowing God ?"

Experiencing pain, hurt, and loss is part of the human experience. Not neccessarily to be avoided, but to feel and experience, and see God within and through it. Just like experiencing love, joy, and happinness is also part of life and we are also called to see God before and through and within our pleasant experiences as well.

So my challenge to you Readeris to ask yourself if (and then why) you have decided to interpret, hold on to, and house your 'trauma'?

What is it that you have chosen to believe and holding onto your trauma gives you proof that it is true?

Can you envision a life for yourself where even 'negative' occurences get to be a testimony that the word of God is true, and that this dunya (worldly life) is a test that will all be put aright ultimately on the Day of Judgement?

With love & wanting better for us both...

Makeda

PS -

I'd love to be of service to you. Here are some opportunities to work together when you are ready...

Individual Coaching

If you need help holding up the mirror and cleaning it off so you can peer more honestly into your own intellectual, emotional, and physical self, you can reach out to me for coaching. I have three slots left for one-to-one coaching beginning in January. 12-week coaching packages are $2400 for new clients. Email makeda@thepathtopresence.com and we can schedule a 45-minute pre-coaching conversation to see if working together would be propitious..

Muraqaba Majlis Q1

If you want the benefit of coaching in a group, which can be a powerful way to see yourself reflected in the insights and experiences of others, the Muraqaba Majlis is opening January 15. This 4 week group coaching experience is for women who, despite their successes in various areas of their lives, are feeling tethered and weighted down in other areas and are looking to get brutally honest about their attachments and slash and burn whatever falsities are keeping them from their next level of growth. If you want to see yourself as you are so you can make the shifts needed to become who you want to be, join us. The Muraqaba Majlis opens quarterly and is $750 investment. Apply here.

Muhsinah Himma Circle

Registration for the Himma Circle is closed.

However, if you are interested in self-paced work the sessions will be available as recordings and reflective prompts. Our theme this year is Divine Love, inspired by, and in relation to the famous hadith that 'Allah loves the one who is taqi (God concious), Ghani (free of wants), Khafi (inconspicuous).

If you are committed to setting your spiritual bar higher than its ever been and growing far and beyond the relationship with your Lord, your Prophet (pbuh) and yourself that you have today, this opportunity should not be missed. Enroll today for $1500 . There will be ten sessions for the year, and they are to be released in the middle of the Islamic month beginning in Jumada I (which will correspond to December 11, 2022). Join when you are ready and gain access to all recordings throughout the year. Register here.

Also...

Hamd & Shukr Islamic Gratitude planners are designed as 12 month, undated and curated to help you plan, and more importantly live, a life of presence and intentional purpose. Complete with the 99 beautiful names of God, daily gratitude tracker, Du’a-intention setting prompts, and reminders from the Islamic tradition. Planners come in rose and black and are available to purchase for $30 USD (plus shipping & handling) here. ​ ---------------------